Friday, January 16, 2015

The Mystery of Einstein





When I was eight years old, my mother handed me a slip of paper with an Einstein quote: “He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.”

Why she gave this to me and not her other five children remains unclear. Perhaps she saw my disillusionment with the rat-a-tat, airless echo of school, the Catholic Church, the Sunday roast dinners and our predictable life. I had been punished a number of times for staring out the school window day-dreaming about who knows what, maybe stink bugs. Then came the thwack of the ruler, held by a tight-fisted, chalky nun who sent me off to kneel on the concrete hallway floor for two hours. I would later go home and draw pictures of nuns being kidnapped, held in dark closets, being starved, begging for mercy. I hid the stories under my bed, accompanying the other stacks, all concerning some level of inequality.
During this time, music and freedom called my mother to another place, a more hopeful existence where she wouldn’t be a “wife.” She was a hippy to my father’s buttoned-up businessman. My mother did not have many heroes, as they were fleeting and then dead: Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr. and the Kennedys. But there was something about Einstein that settled into her very core, then mine.

A new life began and I took Albert along as a companion

In the early 70's, she had had enough. She confided in me: “We are leaving. Tell no one; your sisters won’t understand. Your father will return to an empty house, to complement his empty existence.”
Then: “Imagination is more important than knowledge. Don’t forget that. Ever.”

Thus began my own obsession with Einstein. I tucked these quotes into my grandmother’s jewelry box, which she had given me just prior to her death.

Legions of people remain enamored by this brilliant man, not just for what he discovered, accomplished and how he radically changed the world, but because of his childlike innocence, his unlimited curiosity, great humility, a legacy of words that continue to endure. When you ask a complete stranger who defines genius, they might reply, “Oh, Einstein.”

And he was a rascal, with wild eyes, the mop of hair, his crumpled clothes. This made him real for the rest of us. I began to collect quotes and read about him in libraries. His humor brought me great comfort. He wasn’t some impervious man one couldn’t access. He didn’t believe in separating himself from others, and in fact loved sharing his ideas, while helping others expand on their own. He was approachable, both alive and dead.

Born with a kind of eternal intelligence, his curiosity about all things began to emerge at age four. While examining his father’s pocket compass, Einstein was baffled. What was causing the needle to move? The empty space made no sense to him. He began to build models and mechanical devices for fun. He wanted answers. Age 10, he met Max Talmey, a poor, Jewish medical student from Poland, who introduced him to science, math, philosophy, Immanuel Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason and Euclid’s Elements, which Einstein dubbed “the holy little geometry book.”

He was brilliant in his own way

As a boy, his father knew little Albert was gifted, and perhaps because the elder Einstein (an engineer) had failed at so many businesses, he insisted his son stay in school. He enrolled him in a school in Munich to pursue engineering, but Albert was frustrated with the educational system. He clashed repeatedly with the authorities, resented their teaching style and wrote about how schools were essentially killing the creative spirit and curiosity of its students. He was 15.

“The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.” When I read this in junior high school, I could finally relax. The simple statement brought along a universe of vindication because I simply could not understand the entire educational process of rote learning. It was too boxed in, too impersonal. I realized I would have to find my own way intellectually alongside the traditional, through books and lectures by Rollo May, Erich Fromm, B.F. Skinner, Timothy Leary and Marshall McLuhan.

I was no genius, simply curious and bored with school. Given the number of times my gypsy mother moved us, staying on track in class made me weary. Another school, another teacher, another set of young people I would have to navigate somehow.

Why has Einstein resonated so deeply with me and so many others? Among the world’s most brilliant minds, he continues to inspire. What of da Vinci, Tesla, Newton, Hawking, Aristotle, Edison, Cervantes? The list goes on. They too share not just powerful minds, but an endless pursuit through curiosity and instinct. They knew knowledge was important, had to be learned, but could only get them so far. The rest is mystery.

Einstein embodies the mystery. So many of his ideas, beyond his incredible discoveries in the world itself, which ultimately turned the world on its head, contain room, empty space, air to breathe. His equation, E = mc2, may be the most famous equation in physics, eventually setting the stage for the development of the atomic bomb and nuclear power plants. But had he known where this was going, he said, he should have become a watchmaker.

To this day, his theories inspire advances in science, astronomy and physics, as well as from philosophers. I keep a tip sheet of quotes tacked up near my computer and read one every day. It really doesn’t matter which one, as they all carry great meaning. With each read I come away with yet another interpretation.

Einstein would go on to fail countless exams when applying to higher learning institutions. Yet, he continued exploring, reading and taking great interest in other’s concepts and ideas. He did eventually get accepted into the Polytechnic in Zurich. He wanted more knowledge and continued developing his own theories and expanding others.

His instincts propelled him yet further
He never lost his ability to stay curious, intuitive and of course, humorous. Despite his apparent genius, upon graduation he could not get a job and landed at the patent office, only to be overlooked for a promotion because he had not managed to grasp machine technology. But it was there that the 26-year-old developed further radical notions in his spare time by analyzing various patents. And he never stopped writing about his findings.

Finally, with some recognition, he left the patent office, and by 1908 was considered as one of the world’s leading scientists. He went on to become a professor in Prague and Berlin, and ultimately became famous a few years later when his theory of relativity at last made a permanent impression on the world. Ten years later, he was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics.

For many years after, he traveled the globe, lecturing. “Of all the people I have met, I like the Japanese the most, as they are modest, intelligent, considerate, and have a feel for art,” he wrote to one of his sons. This is the statement that captures the man himself. He maintained his own humility until the day he died. He was a genius, but also a gentleman, a humorist, altruist, artist and a great believer in love. “How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?”

The entire universe was Einstein’s canvas, and he made this world relatable to all of us. I’ve been to my fair share of enlightenment lectures, often given by physicists turned “gurus,” and there they sit, spouting what I had already learned by Einstein’s words:
“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
“Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds.”
“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
And of course, perhaps the most famous, this definition of insanity: “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results,” which never came from him. Rather attributed. 

Meanwhile, back in New Jersey

Of all the great brains, his would be the one cut into 240 pieces, kept in jars, cardboard boxes, often hidden, studied under microscopes. Bits of his grey matter still remain at Princeton University. All those years of cutting, probing and analyzing amounted to little new knowledge of the human mind.

The contradiction rattles the very jars into a pulpy mess, if only because it contradicts what Einstein tried to impress. Stay curious and questioning; love the mystery. Conventional knowledge, though essential, is finite. Imagination is not. This is what Einstein embraced. Perhaps the lore of his brain in a jar helps prolong the iconic myth. In his words: “The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and strand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.”

Recently, while driving my own ten-year-old girls to school, I said, “Remember, imagination is more important than knowledge.”

Through the rear view mirror, I watched them both roll their eyes in that “Please mom, just drive,” kind of way, as they said in unison, “OK, Einstein.”

Monday, December 29, 2014

Christmas Dinner in Osage County L.A And Random Movies.







During the holidays television blares background films, over and over, often the same ones. This keeps me entertained while I go about tedious tasks such as wrapping gifts or writing screenplays.   Given I have a somewhat porous brain, and have possibly passed this on, a steady flow of movie dialogue takes the place of actual conversation in my home.

To begin, like every family you get your Christmas hits 


and misses. 


Post unwrap ceremonies, we move on.

Eve: What's that horrible smell?
Audrey: Like rotting meat?
Big Brother: Mom's dinner.

Uncle Bob: Did anyone else hear that banging last night?
Aunt Burp: Did it come in threes like this?

Burp bangs the wall three times.

Uncle Bob:  Yeah. Was it you?
Burp: No. It's Satan. Rhonda, we need to get this situation under control and go straight to the Vatican?
Big Brother: But we aren't baptized!
Uncle Bob: I'll try to push it through. I know the Pope. Has anyone gone down to the wood cellar with a lit match yet?


Me: Dinner is ready!

The fact that everyone hates my cooking is neither here nor there.  All my kids have fussy palates and making meals to please is a hat trick that defies all odds. I try my best.


If it weren't for strange men in gray suits stopping by to keep a lid on things, we'd pretty much starve. 

Our home is a random and fickle collection of vegetarians, pesco-pollo vegetarians, lacto-ovo vegetarians, one fruitarian and a few vegans.  

The table has every food group on it, but it’s impossible to keep them all satisfied, so I keep a giant bowl of mashed green peas front and center.  This way they can add whatever the hell they want.


I like to keep Xmas small, so the girls, their older Brother, Aunt Burp and Uncle Bob, cousin Baby Huey, and lonely neighbor, Kay.


I was touching up my hairdo for absolutely no reason when I heard a crash.


Burp:  Dang it, Baby Huey! You ruined my tuna casserole! You goddamn clumsy football!

Uncle Bob:  Language Burp. The twins.
Burp: Oh forget the twins. I’m sure they’ve heard worse.
Brother: Hey, they’re my innocent little sisters.

Me: What in the devil is going on in here! What’s that shit on the floor?
Eve: It looks like a giant hairball.
Uncle Bob: It's Burp's casserole.
Me: Gross! You're a disgrace to depression, Burp.

Bob: I hate space!


Eve: Poor Checkers ate most of it. ^ ^ ^ 
Me: Hey, Burp. Do you have any use for that old ironing board? I’m getting rid of everything. I can’t stand all this clutter. 
Burp: What am I going to do with an old ironing board? I don’t know how to iron.  I could use a sideboard though.


Eve: What the heck IS a sideboard?
Audrey: They have them in Osage County. Old people store beach towels in them.
Me: It'd go for a pretty penny, Burp, along with my Louis XIV chair. There's no nobility in poverty.
Burp: How would I get that back to Santa Monica?
Me: What about you Bob? Any use for some antiques? With that rug of yours, would really tie the room together.
Eve: Does your new teenaged girlfriend like antiques?
Burp: What are you guys talking about?
Brother: We saw the Porsche.
Uncle Bob: No darn it, I don't need that or no stinking badges. I knew it was a great mistake for a man like me to fall in love.


Audrey: O-M-G you’re getting a...
Audrey & Evelyn: DIVORCE! Creme brulee. Is it our babysitter?
Bob: Can someone pass Baby Huey the cornbread?
Baby Huey: I'm chillin' with my gauc from my chip hat.
Eve: Does anyone have any use for that sideboard?
Audrey: I collect pretty pennies so someone should buy it.
Eve: Smell my nails. They're a perfect combination of flowers and garbage.
Huey: I might be clumsy but I know what love IS Jen-Nay.
Eve: Jen-Nay, Jen-Nay. Why won't you marry me Jen-Nay?

Kay stands up, hands akimbo.

Kay: This has to stop. I came here for peace and you're all acting crazytown. I have something to say and not from a movie!

She gives Baby Huey a sideways glance. He stares into his plate of beans.

Kay:  First, stop calling him baby! It’s Hue. Just Hue. And we’re in love and moving to San Francisco to be Uber drivers. We'll need furniture.
Hue: You think I'm the perfect combination of sexy and cute? Aww
Brother:  Wait, sideboards stay within the immediate family only and I'm taking it.

Kay:  Anyway, you are all invited to our wedding!
Brother: Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.
Me: Yunno, I don’t see that happening. Do you, Hue? Hue is it? You ever been married before? Nothing slips by me.
Hue: Well, just a few times.
Me: I had him pegged, didn’t I Burp.
Audrey: Who has a name like Stove anyway?
Eve: You're in the wrong decade.

Kay: These beans are delicious. How did you prepare them?
Audrey: She threw them on that platter.
Me: Girls, have some appreciation. Seriously. What have you ever done, huh? Eve? Audrey? What have you done? You’re 11 for crepes sake! By the time I was 11 I had my own apartment and was holding down two jobs. In fact I was applying to Harvard and here you two are, still in the 6th grade.

Brother: And don’t forget you walked to work in eight feet of snow, barefoot and slept in a Pontiac Sedan.
Me: I wrote my college essay in that Sedan. It was damn fine. Only Burp remembers. This woman, this women right here, Burp, sacrificed her life for me, that time on the sailboat when I fell overboard. She pulled me to shore all the way from Alcatraz with a clawhammer.

The kids one by one eye roll.


(See how I work Ryan Gosling in? That's a natural born talent.)

Brother: Thanks for dinner mom. I have a date.
Eve: He has like 20 girlfriends.
Audrey:  I fancy the one in New York.
Eve: Fancy? Okay Iggy. You haven’t met her.
Audrey: We Skyped. She likes unicorns.
Brother: Right? We're so cute I want to punch us in the face.

Me: Kay, you still seeing Fat Albert.
Kay: You’re not going to believe this. But one of my massage clients is his ex-wife!
Me: Are you shitting me?
Kay: For two hours she spews a parade of horribles about this guy. He’s fat, a slob, brushes his teeth incessantly. But I really like him.
Me: Weird. So are you going to tell him about the wife?
Kay: Well no because I’m going to San Francisco with Hue.
Me: Oh, right. Uber drivers.


Eve: Can we go now? We have important stuff to do.

Me: I’m onto you two, with your Littlest Pet Shops, Skylanders and Marvel action figures.  That’s the crux of the biscuit. Too much clutter. No one ever gives a dang about my OCD. It’s a wonder anyone can think in this house with all the Lego’s and sewing needles and glue guns.




Brother: Stop Mom, that’s just the gummy bears talking.  How many are you eating a day!
Me:  Gummy bears can't talk! I love my gummies! They never let me down! 

Then suddenly, sorry Elmore Leonard, all hell brakes lose. Everyone jumping on me, checking my pockets, pulling out bags of gummies, round ones, short ones, fat ones, bear-shaped ones, lazy ones, cherry ones… and crazy ones. I hide them all over the house.

Burp: You’re just a garden-variety gummy bear addict and we need to get you back on apples.
Me: I hate apples. This is my house and I don’t want to eat apples!

Audrey: Say goodbye to the gummies!



I run down the hall to nowhere, fall to the ground and acquiesce. Later, Kay and Hue cleaned up, then we played an extended game of Apples to Apples before an even longer game of Charades. I’m a great player if you must know.  I usually can guess the answer on one clue. Sometimes just the “THE.”


Yet the girls are tricky so when they acted Zoolander, I was a total fail.

Rhonda Talbot on Christmas dinner, the joy of family, life on the Plains, movies, gummy bear addiction and Happy Holidays. Until next year...

Sunday, October 26, 2014

On Birdman, Illusions, Hope and I'm NOT 65!





There is always hope...


I’ve written more than once my reluctance to engage with convenience store cashiers, particularly at Rite-Aid. I don’t know if part of their job requirement is to engage, but I don’t like it.  This particular encounter was about MY need to engage. With a kid. Tides are changing.

Last night I was feeling friendly, open, had just seen Birdman with a close friend and we were all over the map in multiple conversations about life, ourselves, movies, kids, work, the world,  the meaning of life, technology, kosher gummy bears, the dangers of pork fat, preservatives and toxic friends. 


This is how we talk, lots of subjects overlapping but after 20 years we have rhythms and circles and understand exactly the other. If we hit on a particular subject of interest, we’ll stay there for a while, exhaust it, then move on. We were stuck on the kosher gummy thing.

KOSHER ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 

Riley is my only friend I have this relationship with, that is, we both think so fast and are somehow on the same wave, our entire universe can be jammed into 30 minutes at Rite Aid.

Meanwhile, here I was at the checkout by myself with a young girl, perhaps 17. Riley had run off to grab another item, which I had predicted. The “I’m only running in for one thing!” girl.

Me: Oh, she always forgets something. But she has a mind like a steel trap. So smart, always thinking ahead.  Such a smart girl.

The checkout girl was grappling with the 20 pages of coupons Riley gave her.



Me: Can you believe this? I don’t know how she does it. Somehow finds, saves, then compartmentalizes coupons for the proper store on items that are already inexpensive. Where does she find the time?? What, with a huge job, runs her own company!  She’s raising an amazing son, travels the world, helps others, oversees the construction on her home, is kind, lovely and adorable and yet organizes coupons. See, this is why she has money and I don’t.

I toss my sponges and a Hershey’s bar onto the counter.

Checkout girl: Wow, you really raised her well. You must be so proud. 



Me: Excuse me?

Checkout girl: Your daughter. You raised her so well.
Me: You think I’m her mother?

She looked at me as though to confirm.

Checkout girl: Well, yeah. My mom brags about me too.



Of course I had to dig deeper because I love self-abuse.

Me: How old do you think I am?

Now, we all know this is basically a trick question and you get what you deserve, but I thought she might say 49… at the high end. She was already delusional.

Checkout girl:  Um… 65?

Me:  65? Are you serious? I look 65? Do you keep a gun under the counter?



Blank stare. This is what I think 65 looks like. ^^^^



This is what 65 looks like being fabulous.  Still, I feel I look at least 20 years younger than Susan. Seriously! This girl should get fired.


This is me on a sloppy day. I was in heels and pearls for cripes sake! I've gotten to where I'm okay with aging. I'm doing it gracefully. I take pride in that.

Riley comes rushing up, her long hair flowing all over the place, gorgeous face, all legs, then shoving tons of items she “forget” onto the counter.



She even looks like this girl ^^^ In fact it might be her.

Riley: Sorry, I couldn't find the toxic free paper towels. We need to stop at Trader Joes.
Me: Okay, get this. The cashier thinks I’m your mother.
Riley:  What?
Me: Because I raised you so well miss coupon collector.

You’d think the check out girl would show a little humiliation, maybe slight embarrassment, but no. Not even, “I’m not good with ages.”


Like I give any shits.   ^^^

I grabbed my sponges and chocolate.

“Just get me home so I can scrub the house and shame eat. Can you help me to the car, honey.”

We were laughing too hard to strip it all down but Riley, who truly does look 20, needed to try and shore me up.

Riley: It’s the hair. She didn’t even see my face.  We’re the same age!

Me: Who cares? She saw mine. 65? My mother doesn’t look 65 god rest her soul.

By now we are hysterical with laughter throwing perfume free toilet paper into the car. I gasped.

Me: What the hell is that?

I didn’t realize our windows were open.

Riley: Oh Jesus.


Basically Sasquatch was pacing in front of the car, wearing only tight underpants, his giant balls spilling out on either side.

Riley: Is that a girl?
Me: No, Riley. It has a dick. I need to get a picture and Instagram him.
Riley:  Hurry! 

I’m scrambling for my camera, then realized he was staring at us, our windows were down. Was I really just going to take a picture of a nearly naked mentally ill man? What was wrong with me?  We had just seen Birdman.  We were about to become the very people the film illuminates, forget reality, forget human emotion, but get the picture and make it go viral. 




Me:  Let’s go, this is crazy.
She was staring at her phone.
Riley:  Look at this, he's still in line!
Me: It’s a big deal, great actually. People wait for hours.
She had been keeping track of her son who was waiting for the over-the-top scary Hayride in Griffith Park.

As parents our children are now little red dots on our smartphones, we know where they are at all times. Soon we will be able to hear their conversations.



I had stopped counting birthdays after I turned 40, so oddly if you ask me my age; I just grab a number from the air.

Me: Why 65? Why not say, 80!
Riley: You know kids, They think everyone is old.
Me: That is true. My girls (11) think my son (25) is an old man.  I wonder if she thought I looked GOOD for 65.
Riley: You look amazing. Stop it.
Me: We’re so much more than our faces. Yet, wouldn’t it be great if there really was a fountain of youth? I’d be bathing in that business.



Riley: There’s one in Rome. I found them all.
Me: Unicorns. Ever notice how they are all water based? We are water? Theoretically we could just take a bath. I’d rather get a blood transfusion. I should drink more coconut water.
Riley: Do you think he died or flew?
Me: That’s the entire point of the movie, our interpretation.  He already flew into the sun. One of the recurring themes. He’s free. Finally. He says fuck you to the Birdman monster then controls his own fate. To me he integrated and ended it himself.
Riley: I want to believe he flew away to maybe a tropical island. I mean his daughter smiles and looks up.
Me: For me, they finally bonded; she was smiling because he was at peace. Why look at a crumpled, bloody body when she knows his spirit is soaring?



Riley: Yes but I want to believe he is off at some topical island, free that way.


Me: He'd drown himself. Anyway, this expands the point, that is if he flew away to someplace real, we as a society are being taken over by a viral reality, so soon there be no such thing as reality. May as well enjoy this one.  

Of course we are now both checking our cell phones.
  
Since age seven, I too have a  Birdman voice that enjoys reminding me I’m a loser, no talent, worthless, fat, ugly cow that has nothing to offer so really, why try.  



But you do.

One of the things I love about Riley is her honesty, and how she doesn’t give up. We are similar this way.  The self-doubt, the anxiety over our kids, and the impossibility of it all, then we end up laughing. The conclusion is we are humans in an insane world looking for good.  And if someone tells me I look 65, and I see a hairy fat man in his stained underpants smiling at me with a toothless grin, while contemplating the 25 layers of brilliance that is Birdman, I will call that a good day.

I finally arrive home, and settle into my comfy bed, channel flipped until Prisoners, a movie I love so much I can recite all the dialogue. I fall asleep eating my chocolate bar, so I’m guessing today I probably look 67.


Rhonda Talbot weighing in on brilliant Birdman, Michael Keaton, self-doubt, aging, life, humor, parenting, friendship, laughter, mirages and hope.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Tweens Reaction to George Clooney's Wedding.







I haven't written here in a bit because I can't keep up with my life, oh who am I kidding, I'm usually dancing barefoot, being all Patti Smith like.




When I'm not doing this:




Sometimes there are moments so funny and precious they need to be documented. It's also possible no one will care, as in, you had to be there, or thanks but I have my own kids lady.

As my girls get older, like most kids, they become people with their own thoughts, senses of humor, ideas, plans, and so on.  They grow up.




Because they are 11-year old twin girls, we often talk about the media, how women are portrayed and the endless hurricane of objectification that is thrown their way; by that I mean walking by a new stand or listening to song lyrics on any given day. Booty booty booty.



They just love this station called Hits One, which is basically the same Iggy/Taylor/Katy/Demi/ Meghan song over and over and over and over--- there are more, but they can't really understand the fast/garbled rap lyrics, just love that beat.

They request I turn the music down when certain lyrics come on, which I think is admirable, but then I wonder and start in on a "teachable moment."

"Mom, just drive. We get it. Trust us." And I do. They really dislike the sexualization of young girls and want no part of it. I believe this is also why they create their own worlds, full of art, magic, music, fun, and kid stuff.




Last night, we were flipping through the People George Clooney wedding pictures.The reason we had this magazine is because they both asked, WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE?!

I love George Clooney and I'm sure Amal is wonderful, so this is not  meant to be mean. It's more of how kids see the media. 

1) They don't care about celebrities.
2) There is a pushback against this quest to be perfect. Kids know what people look like. They know when they are being sold. My kids immediate reaction is to reject anything that smells of fakery/sales/lies/snake oil/etc.  
3) We talk a lot about this fake and sexualized society. Here is one article with good tips. 

What intrigued them about the People cover was they had never seen this couple before, it's typically the same visual rolodex-- Kardashians, Angelina Jolie, Beyonce, most recently they saw Ariana Grande on a cover and were shocked. They stopped listening to her. Ariana said: "I want people to listen to my music, not look at me and judge." Okay.





Like many of their musical faves, suddenly the person is put into the gloss, sexed-up make-over machine. Sooner or later. From Miley Cyrus to Selena Gomez to well, everyone. So then they have to find a new artist. They are holding out hope for Lorde, Kate Davis, Mille Pye, Bridgett Mendler. I've written a lot about this and completely disagree with artists who say this is all in good fun. BULLSHITE Blurred Lines.




Back to People Mag, when they opened up the pages, they were taken aback to where they needed a reality check. Is this real????

Audrey: Oh god! Who is that? Is she a giraffe? Look at her neck.  Evelyn look at her neck, it's huge.


Eve: Wow, she could literally eat from a Palm tree. And her bones. Are those actual bones?



They kept flipping through the pictures, fascinated. They don't understand why women in the media want to be so thin.

A: It's like she needs to show it off.  Why isn't she hiding it? Who photoshopped this mess?



E: It's a swan thing. I read that. Plus he fits right inside.
A: Who is he? Is she a Kardashian?

I explained who Clooney was, the good things he has done and a bit about Amal. Well...

E: Of course. Amal! Amal the Camel.
A: No the Llama. Amal the Llama neck Amal.
E: Yeah, that's make more sense.


E: I don't get it. Does everyone put their wedding in magazines now? Plus hi, her entire face if fake.
A: Look!  She's stretching it again! Like, here's my giraffe neck again. In case you missed it.



E: Why is her sister fake jumping on the bed?
A: OH, look at my neck! Isn't it wonderful?



A: Wow! Her mom has the same neck.
E:  Maybe it's just inherited. Like your mole.
A:  I don't have a mole.



A:  That is the most random cake ever. It's a condo.
E:  My arrows are so much better. Cleaner. I could bake that cake. We should do a cake off.
A:  I'm never getting married, but if I ever need a cake, it will look like Venom.


A: This is all so photoshopped. Look, it's a cutout of them on some boat on a river. But no otters. Derp.



E:  Look at my amazing neck!!



A: Why is she pointing to her head?
E: This is just so derpy! What is this dress?



E:  Is that wind or is it like a bell dress?
A: She is definitely not all about that bass.

I let them vent for a while, I had never heard them talk like this before. They really are kind, would never make these types of comments amount people, but I honestly think they were thrown into some other dimension. Maybe it was the heat. Who knows?

Me: Guys, stop, okay. I actually think she's really pretty and he's handsome. And this society likes to see famous people get married and be lavish.

A: What?
E: You're just old, Mom.

Then to A:

E: Let's go play Hulk.

What's happening is the "look at me I'm so awesome!" and "I'm so sexy" is being lost on much of the upcoming generation, and actually anyone under 30, at least in my circles, so who exactly is perpetuating this superficial sadness? I am guessing older people, the generation on it's way out. And thank goodness.  How refreshing will it be to evaluate people as they are, not what they media-invent.

But there are also so many young girls and boys that get seduced and spend all of their time and money trying to emulate these people, finding ways to call them role models. Yet I remain optimistic the tides will turn.  I explained many celebs do these photo layouts, earn money, then pass it onto charitable causes, but...

E:  Why not just give the money to the charity directly?

I had nothing. So I suggested the money spent on the wedding provided employment for many people. But they had tuned me out. And honestly, how the hell would I know their reasoning?

They disappeared into their room and blasted music.

The girls love Meghan Trainor's song All About That Bass because she knows everyone actually has a pulse, is real and this has to stop. (Though I'm not so sure about this "boys like junk in the trunk thing.) My kids want it to stop. A lot of kids do. But mostly they don't notice.. yet when they do, they are simply flabbergasted.



So fear not parents, kids are way more savvy than you might think. But they need our help.


Rhonda Talbot weighing in on daughters, media, photoshopping, celebrities, George Clooney, weddings, fake world.