Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Women Are Dying To Stay Sexy; Just Get a Poster of Brad Pitt!






Jake Gyllenhaal and "I don't need anyone" Ann Hathaway in Love and Other Drugs.  I recently thought about this film because I was channel flipping. Let's consider how awesome he is.  This ties together, I promise.

I knew nothing about Premarin until I saw this ad.

http://ispot.tv/a/7GLJ





I sprang up in bed, HUH?  There is no discernible difference between the before and after pictures of the women post Premarin. They remain miserable messes. So naturally I took to my computer to investigate.




AFTER SHE TOOK HER LIBIDO PILL ^ ^ ^  She looks terrifying.

Premarin is a huge business, marketed to women with pre-peri-partial-post menopause. So basically any women with a pulse. But now it's being marketed as the female Viagra, because the world has caught on that  Premarin actually kills women. Anyhoo...

MAYBE she is thinking about:

Side effects: Common:   Headaches,  nausea, back pain, eye problems, breast and bone cancer, high blood pressure, gall stones, jaundice, heart failure, blood clots, endometrial cancer, heart attacks, strokes, dementia,



The un-common side effects? DEATH is pretty much the end of the line.

It's male cousin Viagra just keeps on ticking. The Pfizer execs figuring out what to do. "Let's just dump her, that's our business model anyway."

According to Pfizer, (who manufactures both drugs) these pathetic women are so upset they lost their libido suicide is really the only option. Hey, let's market Premarin as a LIBIDO DRUG!  But what a marketing FAIL... since the company insists on showcasing these gals as angry, clinically depressed, and unapproachable.


The ads suggest without Premarin, you may as well just jump. A contemplator: ^ ^ ^



If you hang it there, you'll be a bitter, resentful harpy. ^ ^ ^  So take your Premarin dammit!


YES, I am late to the party again, but who knew Pfizer makes billions knocking up horses to get that wonder urine-- PRE MARE and no one is stopping them. Big Pharma just loves to kill people. AND animals.  Apparently they have been preying on vulnerable women for years.



I forgot to pick up my Premarin. Just shoot me! ^ ^ ^

Sex and fear SELL. It only makes sense after the public caught on to their nefarious tactics, Pfizer resorted to marking Premarin as a sex drug, the female equivalent to Viagra. So, hurry! Boost your libido, put on your French maid outfit so you don't lose your man. Or woman. But they focus entirely on heterosexuals.



Seriously? Who wants him? And why is she holding the flowers? I bet she paid for the tropical vacation too. Yet she bought into the BS. "Who will ever love me, I've over 40 with no fashion sense!"





Then compare to how they market Viagra. Hot, sexy. Also if that guy needs Viagra he clearly needs professional help. What is he, 20? I'm aware many young men take it for sport like Jake Gyllenhaal in that movie. I actually didn't know there was such a thing as a Viagra party.




NOTE TO MEN: Women aren't into ten-hour sex marathons. I don't care what Sting says.

Too bad Clyde Barrow didn't have Viagra. Poor Faye Dunaway. It's possible if he did, these two would have never went on a killing spree.


Apparently Pfizer has changed their approach with this new, cowboy type man.



He's not angry, depressed, sad. In fact, he's camping, and getting his manhood on, stoking fires and stabbing fish.



This is the Viagra poster dude. I thought it was Chuck Norris. Maybe it is. I noticed all the ads now are rugged men working on Brokeback Mountain, or looking under the hood of Mustangs.

Gone are the days of white-haired old men strolling on the beach who have lost their ability to rub one out.


Oh, my bad. But COME ON! Is he human? Also a glance at Brad would work better than Premarin.


Here's the sad sack. He is so happy  he has a dog.


Side note: Viagra has no side effects, unless you count extended erection or a mild cough. These boys don't worry about cancer or dementia.  It's also created in a lab, not by torturing Rhinos.

Because the company is run by men, naturally their main concern is sex, and by golly they need to keep women interested even if it kills them. And the horses they rode in on.



"Honey, I'm pumped up, take your Premarin or I'll go hang with the guys."

Pfizer lost interest in Viagra as a solution to possible marital problems and now basically caters to men who just want to get hard. BUT if women want to come to the party, take the death pill.

By the way Pfizer, you should use Seth Rogan for the Viagra, and James Franco for the Premarin. Sales would soar!



Instead they use the most lame adverts I've seen since scented douche bags.



Oh, but none of this is truthful.  One in four men under the age of 40 can't get an erection. This increases as they age.  Raise your hand if you've been with a young guy and he can't get it up? That's what I thought.  But we don't hear about this! We only hear about horrible crones.




Then the poster boys:


And Jack Nicholson who will be bedding the ladies forever and well into the afterlife.


Pfizer even suggests your octogenarian milkman can offer more than just milk. Also who the hell has a milkman? Further, who would shag him? Oh, the Housewives of Beverly Hills. Of course.



To create this amazing deadly drug so women will stop having emotions being bitches and start spreading their legs, Pfizer cages mares, impregnates them;  keeps the poor things cold, shackled, whipped, and often beats them with an electrical prods before they are tortured and slaughtered.  

Yet there is no law against this and Pfizer won't change their tactics because it would cost money.

Of course most women have no idea. They are being told this miracle pill/cream will give them youth, energy, vitality, an insanely high libido and they'll be attractive to men forever. Right.




Mrs. Kravitz learned the hard way. She died of a stroke while vacuuming just after her daily dose of Premarin.

MY BIG QUESTION is who the  hell cares what men think?

I guess I have never in my life given one shit whether men want to have sex with me. Let's put this into perspective. If I want to have sex with you, I'll let you know. If I don't it doesn't mean I suffer from some mental illness and need to be fixed.  Note to men: You're not all that. Get over your damn self. 

I also don't give one shit if a man threatens to have an affair if I don't want to have sex. Go. Don't forget your Viagra asshole.

After I saw the horse cruelty video I was just appalled. But not really. Because like everything in this patriarchal world, many men want what they want and will go to any length to get it. They will kill animals and risk women's lives to encourage force their wives to have sex, or take Viagra to have sex with anybody (Oh she was 18, OOOPS) and continue to remain unconscious as long as they are thinking with their sex organs.

Rhonda Talbot weighing in on Premarin, sex, Viagra, men, women, libido, Brad Pitt, Jake Gyllenhaal, Pfizer and Big Pharma equals well, small wiener.


6 comments:

  1. So on point. Esp about marathon sex 10 hours. When i was married to my favorite husband, i keep a back scratcher next to the bed to swap him off after an appropriate duration. Hello, dismount please. Don't you ever just want to read a book or do we have to aerobicize for hours?

    Outing myself as a over 50 female, just curious where you stand on the bio identicals where nothing is maimed , except maybe your wallet. I'll just leave it at, when i take these, 'everything' works much better than when I don't.

    Some day you'll be wayyy over 50 too my pretty.

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  3. Oh, also female gyn is also pro bio-identical/compounding. BigPharma hates this is even an option just btw...

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  4. Viagra has killed over 500 men -- that we know of, may cause strokes, and even blindness (although, this is uncommon). That's just the top of the list. It also wasn't created for erections (and is not at all for libido), but to regulate blood pressure. Some people, both men and women, are willing to risk their lives for sex. Big pharma is definitely full of bloodsuckers. I'll agree with you there.

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  5. Yes I read that, but its marketed as a sex drug. And people just aren't willing to look into what they put in their bodies. Horrible.

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