Sunday, March 4, 2012

Kayne West, uh, no. Angelina Jolie, yes.

Women don't need to wear socks. Why? Because they're beautiful and so are their feet. Check Angelina Jolie's perfect feet.  Here is a another example in case you are questioning my logic.

You may not see Gisele's Bundchen feet but do you really need to?

A man's foot just shouldn't be seen in public. Keep them covered!

Yet, the sock-less dude trend persists to a maddening degree.  After some investigation I learned this will be getting bigger, badder, weirder.

Look for sock less Brogues, Wedges, Espadrilles, Loafers, Slip- ons, Slip-offs and lots of color.

Even the Wellies are getting in on this. Men are being encouraged to toss the socks and put their sweaty feet right up in their galoshes!

Because trends, well spread, I can safely say, pretty much any shoe has fallen under it's spell.

These are suede $4000 shoes Kayne West was rockin, with a $14,000 suit. To me, it screams,

"Hey, I'm Kayne West, I  fantasized about this back in Chicago, walking around the Apple aint got not socks on, yeah, yeah,  I don't look like a fat booty Celine Dion, yeah, I'm an Urkel, not a Winslow, Can we get much higher, can I get a lift in this shoe, Yeezy?"

I never know what Kayne is talking about, but apparently a lot of people do and love him cause his new album has millions of hits, comments and flame wars.

I'm a fan of socks, for lots of reasons, but how about just plain old cleanliness? Why would a man want to stink up and ruin a perfectly good $1000 shoe for the sake of a trend?

Imagine my shock and horror when I saw this:

    Now, I love Zac Efron   Emoticonsand here is what is going on. He is one of those perfect men that is not only faultless but if he has a fault, I missed it, who cares and it's charming anyway.  Here is the inside scoop: Zac was filming, his character didn't wear socks, despite the conflict this caused with his movie girlfriend, but she had amnesia in the film so couldn't recall if this was okay. During the filming, one of the A.D.s really wanted a mocha, a real one, and when Zac was on break, what did he do? Retreat to his trailer and relax and text friends? No! He walked up Beverly and got his buddy a mocha. That is the kind of guy he is.

    Then This:

    Ryan Gosling is another actor that can do no wrong. He embodies perfection as we all know. Emoticons I believe there is already a required reading history chapter about him in elementary school. So, here is the story. He was about to board a plane to NYC to build a solar powered house for a friend of his, but the security people, who care not your level of celebrity or status, made him remove his silk black socks. Why? Because they thought, given Ryan was dressed in black and sporting glasses (read must be a genius,) he might have sewn in some kind of dangerous device into the sock lining.

    But the rest of these clowns men, have no excuse.

    This screams: I am too cool for school, so even though I'm 30, I ain't going to class. Instead I'm gonna smoke and pretend to be reading Gunter Grass.

    This dude is full blown ADD, he is on the run and just get out of his way.  He is far too important to take the time to put on socks. Starbucks is waiting and he needs to start his biography on Gunter Grass.

    I'm starting to feel sorry for lonely boy below:

    This boy has been standing in front of this closed warehouse for weeks pretending to talk to someone because surely his battery has died. He is so misguided on so many levels. But since that last time we saw him, he has mysteriously shaved his legs.

     Check this out ^^^  this dude abandoned his socks, but clearly checked the weather because he is wearing possibly five layers.  This khaki pant look might work with a wife beater at the beach, but he appears to be on his way to a business meeting. The silk-woven tie, nicely buttoned vest, tailored suit coat, color-dotted ascot, and a pea coat! Is that a pocket square? Then to throw on some rolled-up clam diggers? No.

    Best for last:

    Now, here we have an assortment of mad confusion.  In addition to the Beatles 60's era haircut, this dud dude appears to be wearing one of Kim Jon Il's suits, with his sister's leggings, his grandmother's support hose, hid dad's shoes and his mom's purse. And where exactly is he?

    "Kindly photograph me where it smells like urine, please."

    Now, you may all think I'm somewhat cynical, but that is purely fiction.  Anything and I mean anything is better than this:

    Thanks to for providing me with the latest trends.

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