Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Kevin Kline and Dakota Fanning Under the Sheets--NO NO NO!

The Last of Robin Hood, a biopic about Errol Flynn (50) and his sexual affair with aspiring actress Beverly Aadland (15) belongs on the Horror Network, not Lifetime.

The thought of the ethereal Dakota Fanning (23) lying in bed with who could be her great grandfather Kevin Kline (66) is just going too far.

Hasn't Dakota been through enough? What with child abduction and a dangerous father (Man on Fire,) being orphaned then terrorized by her insane father (Hide and Seek,) facing down an alien apocalypse with her Peter Pan father (War of the Worlds.)  Nonetheless, her film choices are excellent and she is clearly so talented it borders on genius. But nothing in all of her 450 films can be worse than bedding with a man that is much older than her actual father.

As much as I'm an advocate for the Lifetime Network or any network that promotes stories written by or about women, this one eludes me. Somehow this feels very wrong. I know all networks need to chase ratings and a sale but at what cost?

Errol enjoyed Lolita just as much as the next guy. He gave the book to Beverly as a gift. ^^^

This is a biopic about Errol Flynn and his romance with a 15-year old starlet, one that is encourage by her fame hungry mother. The one sheet goes on to say though set in 1959, this surely mirrors today's society. Really? Apparently this romance was a paparazzi dream come true, a never ending tabloid fest, a real life Lolita.

I guess in today's world that might mirror, well nobody. I guess Johnny Depp and maybe sister Elle Fanning? But this would never happen, instead we might have James Woods (66) and Kristen Bauguess (26,) a sort of age match, an actor wanting to stay in the limelight... but frankly no one cares.

Lifetime says it prides itself on making films that empower women and I'm not seeing it here. I'm seeing something much more lurid and I find it disturbing. But that's just me. Given women have barely any outlet in which to make movies, the one TV network supposedly devoted to them makes a film about a creepy old pervert preying on a teenager while her mother encourages their union. We saw this film. It was called Lolita. It was a great novel. And a great film. But it was also about a lot of other concerns.

I find The Last of Robin Hood a rather pathetic excuse for entertainment. Lifetimes seems to have fallen down some scary rabbit hole.

In real life, Kevin Kline (66) is married to Phoebe Cates (50) but when they married, I remember thinking, wait, Kevin Kline, that great actor from The Big Chill, Sophie's Choice, A Fish Called Wanda, among so many others was marrying that teenager from The Fast Times at Ridgemont High? I loved her, then don't ever recall seeing any further acting.

Apparently she retired from acting to raise their two kids and they're perfectly happy.

I also love Kevin Kline, and really their age difference isn't anything abnormal in Hollywood. Except when they met on The Big Chill she was 20 to his 36.  I actually remember being slightly horrified. Maybe because she looked 14. Or maybe because I felt it was predatory. I don't recall.

Of course the May/December romances are nothing new.  And a number of them actually last, such as Annette Benning and Warren Beatty (21 years)  Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart (22 years) Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones (25 years) well, verdict is out.

True love ^ ^ ^ ^

And now the tide is changing. For example a few new ones, Robin Wright and Ben Foster (14 years) Joan Collins and Percy Gibbons (32 years) Jennifer Lopez and Casper Whatever (18 years) Geena Davis and Rehza Jareahy (15 years).. on an on.

Sharon Stone with some  hottie. ^ ^ ^

I like the swing of older women/young men, just for the sake of balance.

So why not make a film about a 66-year old female star and an upcoming young man? Say Goldie Hawn and Dane DeHaan? Or Diane Keaton and Ezra Miller?  Wouldn't this be a better fit for Lifetime?

I'm available... ^ ^ ^ ^

Meanwhile, what woman is going to watch adorable Dakota getting her sexy on with Kevin Kline!? How about nobody. At least he has a heart attack and dies. She inherits nothing. Her mother is a boozy freak.

I understand because this is a biopic it will carry a certain cache, and it was also sold to Goldwyn so may face an actual theatrical release. The producers and executives involved keep saying over and over how it mirrors today, despite it being set in 1959,  but this just isn't true. Yet they just keep saying this.

The only thing that is true is Hollywood will continue to support films with older, in this case geriatric men and younger leading women.

I understand that Lifetime is having a rough go, made evident by their recent Flowers in the Attic and Lizzie Bordon Took An Ax, exploitation films that portray women as murderers, crones, child abusers or innocent things that have no problem with incest.  I don't watch much TV so I don't know when the whole "women in peril" was replaced with flat out psychotics.

Until women start truly gaining a foothold on what people see on their screens, any screens, I highly recommend not watching this dreck.

There are the occasional great films that get made, ones that empower females. But they are rare.

Until then, it's still a man's fantasy out there. Lolita. Light of my life. Fire of my loins. Lo-Li-Ta.

Rhonda Talbot weighing in on Errol Flynn, the perpetuation of perverts through the media and holding out hope that change is in the air.

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